Skip to content

OUR STORIES SERIES: IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.

“I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?” Laurie Anderson.

*************************************************************************************************************

This story is long overdue, but my hope is that it will inspire someone who has undergone a similar experience. I hope it will give someone the courage to speak up and exercise the virtue of fortitude.

It is every girl’s dream (most girls, if not every) to be respected and valued, not because they are ladies but simply because they are human beings. However, my most intrinsic dream was ravaged by a man who is not deserving of anyone’s love. For me, innocence is something pure and sacred and it should not be taken away from you by anyone. It is only cowards who would steal innocence from someone’s soul.  However, if we are to stay strong and continue shining, we have to soldier on through the raging storms that leave us with open, lethal and deep-cut wounds.

 

Let’s call this guy Moses. He was my friend and my neighbour at the same time. I became very fond of him and I would spend most of my days at their house. It was immediately after high school, so I had all the time in the world. I thought he liked me and I believed he cared about me.

I opened up to him. He knew my life and all my soft spots coupled with my strengths, weaknesses and innocence. He was meant to move to Karen with his family. Being idle, naïve and friendly, I helped him move his things to their new place. He took me back home and nobody else was there. He locked the door and I saw something different in his face. I saw the devil, I saw deceit, and I saw him intimidating me. Before I could react, he had already pinned me down and he did it. (Long story after that).

I was shaken, I was in fear. How could he have done that to me? I trusted this nigga. He betrayed me. To date, I can feel his heavy breathing and the smell of deceit and intimidation.

The main reason why I decided to move on and not let this experience tear me down is that I knew I had to save myself or I would remain unsaved. It is only until today that I have been able to share one of my deepest and painful secrets publicly.

I was damaged and I was weak. It was one of the most tiring things my mind ever experienced. My heart fell a little more every day and the candles in my life shone a little less brightly with each passing day. At night, I cried myself to sleep. It was hard. Mostly because I did not let anyone in my life to know what I was going through. At that time, I did not believe that sharing would help me feel lighter and eventually forgive the person. My experience is not as simple as a heart break. It is more than that. It is a storm filled with hate, anger, emotional despair and the degradation of self-worth.

My advice for victims of rape is to let them know that sharing with trustworthy friends or family is important. If you do not want to die inside, just share and hopefully you will find someone who understands what it means to be stripped of something so precious and dear to you.

I thank God for giving me the courage that I deeply desired and needed to get over it. It has taken me two years and accept what happened to me.

*************************************************************************************************************

This story was sent in to me by one of you lovely people and I just want to say to her again that I am terribly and deeply sorry that this happened to her and that I am glad that she wanted to use this platform to share her story and her experience in the quest for healing and helping others. If you would like to talk to her that is something that she is open to so just let me know. If you would like to share your story, whatever it may be, my dms, emails and comment section is always open. This platform is here to amplify your voices so use it! Till next week love and light my lovelies!!

One Comment

  1. Imelda Sharon Imelda Sharon

    Oh my! People with innocent faces are cruel out here.. Full of deceit.
    This is why to trust is sth almost impossible… I’m sorry to her..
    I hope she feels encouraged that all is not lost!! She is a great woman!!

    Love and light 🙂

Your thoughts and opinions matter, share them:

%d bloggers like this: