I got a message this week from one of you guys who wanted to share her story for our women’s story series. Here is Mitchelle’s story:
“I was raped in 2014. On Easter eve, at around 10pm I was headed home from rehearsals for a play. As I was walking home a car pulled up and the guy rolled down the window. It was a cousin to a friend of mine and he offered to give me a ride home. I accepted the offer. On our way he told me that he had to pick something from his house then he’d take me home right after. We got to his house and he invited me in. I didn’t want to be rude so I agreed. Once we were inside he started to touch me. I told him to stop but to no avail. Next thing I know he puts his handkerchief to my nose and I black out.
I have no recollection of what happened but when I woke up there was blood and I was in pain. I went and took a long shower, deep down I knew exactly what had happened to me. I called up my friend after and she took me to the police station. I tried to report the rape but the police weren’t helpful. They told me that because I had showered there wasn’t much they could do. They also told me that it was my fault because I ‘took myself there’. My friend and I left the station and went to the chemist to buy the emergency pill.
I come from a family that isn’t the most understanding. My parents are divorced and at the time I was staying with my mother. She doesn’t earn a lot of money and wasn’t home most of the time because she was out working. I was scared to tell her; I was ashamed. When I realized I was pregnant I wanted to commit suicide. I started to live in constant fear: fear of what my mum would say, fear of how disappointed she will be because I have let her down, fear of how people would treat me especially in our estate where they saw me as ‘serious’. I also developed a deep fear of men. I couldn’t sleep and all I did was cry. I decided that I would go and get a job at a movie shop so that I could raise money for an abortion.
I got the job but on the day I was supposed to start I couldn’t go to work. A few months passed and I now had to tell my mother. I told her about the rape and the pregnancy. She didn’t believe that I was raped. She lectured me about getting lifts from strangers even though I had told her that he was someone I knew. Eventually, she became supportive of me deciding to keep the pregnancy. In 2015, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who I love so much, she’s my hope. However, sometimes I can’t help but feel some resentment when I look at her. I think that maybe my life would have been totally different. Maybe I would be able to do stuff people my age do and be in campus.
I wanted to tell my story because I hoped it would help someone who went through something similar. I felt and sometimes feel that what happened was my fault. I think maybe if I had gone home early or declined the ride then maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Now I know that it’s not my fault and this blog has really helped me with that. I am still healing but I am better now.”
Thank you Mitchelle for sharing your story with us. Wishing you lots of love and strength as you continue on your journey of healing. Her name was changed for anonymity and safety. What’s your story? Would you like to share it with us? Please let me know my dms and emails are open. Till next week, love and light to you all!