I really did not think we would be doing a third installation of this series but the events of this week have necessitated it. I recently joined twitter and this week I regretted that decision. It’s actually one of the first sites I look at in the morning and on Tuesday the first tweet I read when I logged on was, “Men will always rape… At this point in life… U have to teach women preventive measures and arm them” I read it and I was like it’s too early for that kind of trash in the day and went about my business. A few hours later I see this story that I am sure you have all heard about. The guy who has been raping blacked out girls at parties, I won’t post it here but the story is on our Facebook page.
I don’t like talking about this topic, I hate it, it drains everything out of me. 1 in 5 women have been raped in their lifetime. More often than not, the rape is carried out by someone they know; an acquaintance and 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. The rapists aren’t strangers lurking in the shadows its people we know and probably interact with on a daily basis. “But men are raped too.” Yes by men, majority of rape perpetrators are male. I am not attacking men these are just facts, you can Google them. It makes no sense to tell women to protect themselves from rapists because it could be anyone.
I don’t know what will work, we have defined rape, talked about rape culture, we sing consent every single day but to what end? What is the point if the world continues to portray women as sexual objects, as property, as something to satisfy the male gaze? We could walk around with respect tattooed to our foreheads but it would not matter. I know it’s not all men, I know that but who can we trust? If your homie like this Nderitu guys does this all the time and you know it, you go to this parties and you know the ‘Nderitus’ but you say nothing. The only time you’re vocal is when women start calling out this behavior and all you want to say is, “Not all men.” Fine, here’s your medal Mr. Nice Guy. Rape is violence! Its inhuman, its violation of such intimate proportions. Why doesn’t this bother you as much as being called trash does? Does someone you know have to be raped for you to care?
Intoxicating women so as to have ‘sex’ (it’s in quotes because rape isn’t sex) with them is rape! Threatening them to say yes is rape! Coercing them into saying yes is rape! If you’re dating and she says no and you force her it’s rape! If she’s blacked out it’s rape! Consent has to be given voluntarily and by a competent person. A person only gives consent if they agree by choice, and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. We don’t exist in a bubble so if I can ask one thing of each and every one of us is to be more accountable. We know these people let’s call them out, let’s not enable them. Love and light; see you all next week.