“It isn’t enough to simply talk of equality, one must believe it. And it isn’t enough to simply believe in it, one must work at it,” Meghan Markle.
My friends mean the world to me and I tell this to everyone who will listen. If I were to have a concert, my first performance would probably be a rant on how amazing they are and how truly and deeply I love them. This is a big deal for me because I am what people refer to as ‘emotionally constipated’ and I tell you this because I am trying to paint a picture so work with me here, okuuurr? Most of these friends are female and not because I have anything against guys but simply because I believe in sisterhood. Female friendships are magical, beautiful and way too underrated. These friendships are more often than not created from a mutual love of something as simple as a tv show like Grey’s anatomy or a shared belief in a movement such as feminism. The latter has been a foundation for a lot of new friendships for me this year.
The quote at the beginning of this post is in one of my first posts and in the about of this blog’s Facebook page and it feels extremely relevant to what I am writing about today. You see, I absolutely, deeply, and wholly loathe hypocrites. I cannot for the life of me stand them, I cannot and will not because no! Y’all are exhausting and I mean it with every single fiber of my being. I had friends, I use past tense because I do not consider them my friends anymore, who share all this feminist goodness on their social media pages. Every time you log on and see their names you know that a woke bomb is about to hit and you are ready for it. I loved it and them. They inspired me and I loved that they spoke their truths and were unapologetic about it. They’d talk about gender equality, LGBTQIA issues, toxic masculinity, body positivity, black girl magic… you name it, they were on it! It was so beautiful to watch, again I use past tense because now it’s not because it isn’t honest.
The feminist movement is about believing in the social, economic and political equality of the sexes. It is about believing that women have the right and capability of making their own choices and respecting these choices even though they may differ from your own. It isn’t about you posting that ‘thick thighs save lives’ on social media then shaming other women in real life simply because the thickness did not rest on just their thighs but around their waists too. Feminism isn’t about you parading your sexuality and shaming those who choose not to. Feminism isn’t an outfit that you put on when it is convenient for you. If you are going to take up the title and boldly proclaim to everyone that you are a feminist then you better mean it and live it. It is not a fad/trend the fight for equality is not a game, there are people dying. If what you want is to appear cool and ‘woke’ there are other ways but for crying out loud don’t do it this way, don’t do it for appearances. The feminist movement has enough challenges as is; your hypocrisy is a challenge we don’t need.
We need to be conscious about the people we allow into our spaces: it is something I am learning. I am a feminist and that means that I take time to learn about the movement and what it is about and why it is so important. This also means that I welcome friendships with other feminists because I want to learn from them and also because support systems are important. However, if your feminism is just for show please miss me with that friend request. Own who you are! Be it a racist, misogynist, tribalist or sexist human being, own it. Be about your truth. If you are just someone who is learning and unlearning like I am; own that as well. Be your true authentic self and work on making that person better; hypocrisy is exhausting. That is all from me for this week, sending love and light to you all wherever you’re reading this from. Hoping you are safe and that all is well. If not, drop a comment down below and let’s talk about it. See you all next week with our Safe Spaces Volume 2 recap 🙂